I heard a mother wailing for her son

her cries carrying down

linoed corridors

the phone hanging off the hook


Am I losing-

me the fuck-up

smearing molasses

on fresh white walls


One sweet hell

I am not here at this time

I am not here at all


Other children run and play

mothers calling from behind


I am not here

Little dove

show me your face


I’ll clasp it with my hands

It’s getting dark now

this Friday in February

Someone holds your hand


The ocean smashes through a cave

Every word is for you


I smile

as it’s all mud

On our knees

on our palms


You and I

don’t forget are built from blood

and you say my eyes are blue


Remember that day


You said pick me up

(I couldn’t)


In another bed

just trying to forget

I lay down beside you

You were sleeping

The bed was earth


A winter soil takes my bones

to feed the bare oak


You sleep under a downy wing

At night

when I lie down

the day

falls through my face

and back


Sleep is a stroke over my thoughts

rupturing when you cry

The untwinned sound drags me to my feet

A footprint in dust

I see the sky again

Silver clouds cluster


A pale sun

fierce and eager

Tum porro puer, ut saevis proiectus ad undis

Navita, nudis humi iacet, infans, indignus omni

Vitali auxilio, cum primum in luminis oras

Nixibis ex alvo matris natura profundit,

Vagituque locum lugubri complet, ut aequuumst

Cui tantum in vita restet transire malorum. (Lucretius, De Rerum Natura, Book 5, lines 222-227)


My tutor drowned

Washed up on the shore

found by his wife


He had read this passage


Now I know the tiny body


My infans


Those wild horses

who trample the waters edge

foam at the mouth

and inhabit my chest

My bedclothes are damp by morning


My infans


I barely breathe without you

You are gone

An ache

too big to cry

The moon is a crescent tonight

emptied of its belly

I know why wolves howl 

I forgot about the cow parsley

along the lanes

growing untamed

A part of me is missing

Golden Flower

In the night I’d go to you

Our hidden world

I keep dreaming of everything

And you save me